What should I do when my parents aren't willing to help me and shut me down (serious)?

please talk to someone (like your therapist perhaps, or maybe a horse) about your issues. It sounds to me like you have some major issues and talking about them generally helps. The other person doesn't need to be human, just a good listener. Hell, I tell my cat my issues all the time and it actually helps. Also, don't hate yourself, because chances are you are a great person and shouldn't beat yourself up about **** that was forced in your mind when you were a little tiny child person. You're better than that.